"I am Satan" Satan announced imposingly. "I am The Enemy, The Foe, The Opponent. I am The Spirit of Contradiction, for I oppose everything; All is alien to me, and alien to all I am.
I am Lucifer, called The Lightbringer, but darker than darkness my light is, and blind will be anyone who is foolish enough to try using it to see.
I am The Fallen One, for I fell from the Light, and I wish for everyone to suffer the same fate.
I am The Devil, The Liar, The Father of Lies. There is no lie I would not turn into a truth and there is no truth I wouldn't make a lie.
I am The Traitorous One. I am The Betrayer. There is nothing I would not betray when it would serve me, and there is no one I would not assist, only to betray immediately after. My help is an illusion, but my betrayal is real. Whoever should grasp my hand for support, will plunge into the abyss.
I am The Monster, The Beast, who lurks hidden in the shadows, waiting for a chance to leap out and tear you apart one moment after you turn me your back.
I am The Undead One. I am The Living Dead, who wishes death to all.
I am Death. I am Doom. I am the halt of all motion, of all action, the end of all life. I am the Prime Chaos, and all shall return into me.
I will show you all your weaknesses. I will promise you power, then chain and enslave you.
I am The Evil. I am The Hated One, and I hate all. Mine are endless Rage, never-ending Fury and eternal Vileness.
I am The Condemned One, who lays his curses upon the world. Eternal my curses are, as for all eternity cursed I am.
I am the evil mirror, a twisted reflection of all the good that is in you.
I am The One Who Stands Behind Your Back. You feel my presence every day, every second of your life, and it strangles you, making you dread.
I am The One Who Knows More Than You. Your ignorance is your doom, and I laugh at you as you find it out.
I am The Destroyer of Morality, The Tempter, The Defiler. I am The One Who Asks Tricky Questions. There is nothing I would not ridicule and turn inside out. I will make you believe in my lies, only to make you believe the opposite immediately after.
I am The Quality Assurance. I am The Merciless One. There is nothing I would not do to fulfill my desires.
I am The One Who Hides in the Dark; I am darkness itself.
I am Fear; I am what you fear, and I am the Shadow behind your back. Your fear feeds me and gives me strength. I am Terror. I am the impending death that follows you step in step.
My breath gifts madness. My touch brings agony. My grasp brings death.
I am The Thief. I will steal all that you treasure, and strip you of everything.
I am The Stealer of Souls. I will take even your self from you and leave you alone in the dark. I am Satan!" Satan finished his speech and looked at the man in front of him.
"You are nothing" the man said casually, picking an apple from the tree. "You are a fantasy, a speculation, a idle question, a 'What if?'. You are a skewed idea in the mind of poor people who are too shortsighted to see the Truth.
You are a phantom. You are a speckle on the edge of one's eyesight which disappears even before it is noticed. You are a vague thought in the mind of a bored child. You are a puff of smoke that vanishes from the lightest of winds.
You are an idea devoid of meaning of its own. You are a reflection in a small puddle, drying in the sun. You are no one and nothing.
You are the remains of a past long gone, free of any meaning or purpose. What lacks meaning loses its reality and ceases to exist. Therefore, disappear!" He bit off a piece of apple and began chewing on it delightfully.
"Killjoy!" Satan grumbled and vanished into thin air.